How to Increase Self Esteem

In this article on How to increase self esteem, I will touch lightly on some of the aspects that I have either personally experienced or witnessed which can be practically applied to improve self confidence and general opinion of yourself. “What you believe yourself to be, you are” is not only the mantra to this website but also my personal belief.

If you have not read my other article “Low Self Esteem Signs” it may be worth your time reading this before continuing further. Please note: I am not a medical practitioner or psychologist and have no affiliation to any medical or allied profession, therefore I can only offer you information from a layman’s perspective. I also need to reinforce that this article is directed to those visitors who are looking at ways to “fine tune” their self esteem rather than seek advice on more serious medical or related conditions.

How to increase self esteem or your feelings of “self worth” can be particularly challenging when many of you reading this article are subject to receiving negative feedback and opinions from others both at work and within your personal circles. Whether these are “friendly” nicknames or more direct responses, bottom line, they frequently hurt. Fact, you have no control over them or outside influences. The only one who can take control of the situation is you. Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “No one can make you feel inferior without your permission.” I agree with her, don’t give it to them. Building your self esteem will be different for everyone as we all start from different places in our journey of self discovery. Strategies and behaviours on how to increase self esteem will therefore vary from person to person.

If you genuinely want to increase your self esteem you must be prepared to take positive steps to remove or minimise the negative influences that impact on your feelings of “self worth.” Now you have decided to be your “own best friend” you need to find a quiet space and over a period of time write down the things, people and influences “that hurt you the most.” Next list them in order from the most influential to the least. A good method to determine this order is to read the item listed and check what emotions are associated with it. In this way you will quickly identify the most influential items on your “hurt list”.

How to increase self esteem strategies and their effectiveness now become dependent on the actions you take from this point forward. Now you have identified the areas of concern and determined their impact on you, you have two choices, do nothing or take action. If you decide to take action you need to identify your “circle of control.” In other words “do you have the power to remove yourself or limit your exposure to this negative influence?” If yes, your next question should be “Is it upsetting me enough to do something about it and am I willing to face potential consequences? If your answer is still “Yes,” read on.

You can probably now see that these written and reflection exercises I have given on How to increase self esteem are all about identifying “what bugs you.” We will start with removing the easy negative influences first. If televised current affairs programs and newspapers effect your disposition, stop listening to and reading them. Don’t worry about missing out on important news. If it is horrible enough and has drastic consequences someone will take great delight in telling you. I gave up consciously listening to and reading news reports in my teens. If your prime concern is a work colleague, avoid them, minimise contact with them or if you feel comfortable enough in your relationship with them tell them (eg for sake team productivity) how you feel when they respond negatively to you. If your concern is a family member, the strategy is the same. I know some of you will find this advice tough, it is. If all else fails, you then need to make your next decision. What it is, will be up to you, but remember this is your life and the buck stops here.

“What you believe yourself to be, you are.”